ASR - Shaadi Kar Ke Phas Gaye Yaar!!!

An Email exchange between ASR's best buddy from College, Abhishek and ASR. Read and enjoy and dont forget to comment.

Hi Bud (ASR!)

First congratulations on getting married to the most beautiful woman in the world. Saw in the papers. You lucky b*st**d, how did you accomplish that? I never thought you'd be one of the first ones among us confirmed bachelors to break the vow of  Brahmacharya and jump headlong into marital bliss?

Do write when you get a chance and tell me more about bhabhi. Bhabhi looks pretty awesome, haan!!  And if you don't take good care of her, I wont hesitate for a moment to kidnap her and make her my own.
BTW, I am in delhi on a short vacation and would love to catch up with you ie if you can keep your hands off your new wife and find time for this old pal of yours.

Regards
Abhishek (ASR's college friend)
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ASR's email reply to Abhishek
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Hey Abhishek!

You MF, when did you land here! you dint even bother to tell me in advance!

Ahhh, Shaadi. What can I say. It happened too fast. It was unplanned. When I got up for my bro's wedding that morning, I had no idea I would end up getting married too, within the span of the same day.

No, no, I was not kidnapped or got married at gun point. It was not like that at all. It was my decision, something I did for my family. Will tell you more when we meet.

Shaadi is a double edged sword, buddy. I didn't realize this thing will actually sleep in my room and share my bed!!! I walk in to get a quick nap and there it is sitting on my bed under a pile of gold and embroidery so thick, i'd have to use a hatchet to cut through all that just to see her face.

And to rub insult to injury I have to carry this thing into the house in my lap - family tradition you know. She is very chirpy and wont sit quiet for a second. you know how i like my peace and quiet even from our college days, well, good bye silence, hello cacophony.

Even if I do bear all this, I am up to here with stray hair on bathroom floor and stuck to my wool coats. Can you imagine this thing sheds hair like crazy and leaves it everywhere!!

Let me not even start on the million and one paraphernalia sitting on my dresser, some of those things look downright dangerous and out of S&M fantasies, black rope like braids, bulbous ornaments, clips of all shapes and sizes, heavens, how can one person carry so much on their body at any given time?

And then this thing keeps calling me Ay Ji, Suniye Ji? She was perfectly fine calling me by my first name until that morning, now I dont know what got into her. This thing insists on locking the bedroom door at night, if this continues I might have to drain the pool and sleep inside it, just to get away from it all. 

This thing insists I shower before my bed coffee. And that ingrate Hari Prakash, he refuses to serve me coffee now. So I am stuck dragging myself out of the bed, shower, do aarti and then have my coffee. Its a shock that I haven't murdered anyone without my morning coffee.

And if things aren't bad enough, my family wants to hit the rewind button and go over it all over again! I don't have patience but I have no choice, need to pacify the in-laws you know.

My dear friend, Shaadi Kar Ke Phas Gaya Yaar. I was trying to thumb my nose up my Jijaji and guess what? he is having the last laugh. Now I know why Jijaji was desperate for an extra marital affair. If things go at this rate, I will join him soon.

see you soon pal.

Regards
ASR