The Departure

 The quiet room told her it was well past 8 a.m. and that meant her exuberant and talkative roommate was out of the room. She jumped out of her bed flinging the sage hued velor blanket aside and stood up. Her swiftness left her a bit unsteady as she tottered bleary eyed towards the bathroom. She had slept at 4am, staying up to finish the last of her assignment. It was a matter of few more weeks and she would graduate with a Masters in Fashion Design. 

Enjoying her cool shower, she thought about the past few years which would finally culminate in her graduation in a few weeks. She shut her eyes to let the needles of cold water bring her eyes back to wakefulness. She slicked her wet hair back and unhooked the loofah from the shower caddy. She poured a generous amount of a lavender body bath lotion on it absentmindedly, as her thoughts raced back to the time she had started the Fashion Design program. The years had rolled by so fast, and the program was challenging enough to keep her intelligent mind engaged and busy. She was far from home and far from Arnav. 

Arnav. His thought always brought a smile to her face. She loved him to this day. She had never really forgotten him. But as she got caught up in the rigor of the program, it was inevitable for them to drift apart in more ways than one. 

Khushi had enforced this separation upon them, as a way to protect her sanity and to prevent Arnav from breaking her heart yet again. The thought of seeing each other only during holidays or breaks, the longing and desperation had consumed their young minds, yet Khushi knew that he needed to sort this out in his mind more than her, before they could truly unite as a whole. Days turned to months and the separation became more bearable for her. She was surrounded by campus activities and there was not a minute to spare. She loved the newness of her environment and was relieved to be out of the small-town mentality that had defined her for so long. It was paradoxical for a small-town girl like her to find solace and wisdom in the hustle and bustle of a big campus.


Arnav wanted to possess her, consume her and own her in every way a girl would love to be loved. Yet, khushi knew his need for possession arose from a dark history that he never completely shared with her. She was willing to fight the demons of his mind; he had just had to let her in completely. He was vulnerable and only she could shield him the way he deserved to be shielded. She had tried many times and each time she was hurt by his resistance. His thoughts brought a fresh bout of pain in her. She scrubbed herself harder trying to wash herself off his memories. If only it were that easy.


Out of the shower, she draped a towel around herself and cursed her roommate for leaving strands of hair on the floor. She pulled a ply of toilet paper and scooped up the stray hairs and some grey fuzz from the floor and threw it in garbage. Water dripped from her hair and her eyes were bloodshot, a combined result of lack of sleep and excessive soap. She slipped out of her towel into her panties and her favorite broken-in denim jeans. She hurriedly pulled over a ubiquitous T-shirt with the university logo emblazoned in its chest. There wasn't enough time to dry her hair so she quickly combed it and pulled her lovely mane into a tight pony-tail, a very un-becoming style for her oval face, as Arnav loved to point out. Her hair, a feature that Arnav had loved, and had wanted it kept flowing and untied in its resplendent glory. She remembered their long nights when all he wanted was stroke her silky hair till she feel sound asleep, safe and protected by his loving arms. She shook herself back to her present. A quick coat of lipgloss and a dab of perfume and she was on her way out. She rushed across the university main street to make it just in time for the Design lecture.


She laid her back-pack heavily on the floor by her seat and took out her notes neatly bound together in a well-labeled white binder. She exchanged a few cursory hellos with fellow students and began to pore over her notes to recollect where they had left in the last class. She knew she was a little behind in her coursework but it was nothing a good large cup of coffee and an all-nighter could not pull off. 


Her skills at Chikankari was first commercially launched by Arnav's company, AR associates. He was so proud of her work that he decided to employ her again as a lead design consultant for their ethnic wear department. Arnav would watch her lovingly, as she would describe her latest design, and much to her chagrin, she could never come to the finish of presentation because inevitably, Arnav would scoop her up in his arms and take her to his private room to learn the very private design matters that only the two of them secretly shared. A smile crossed Khushi's lips as she recalled those intimate moments with Arnav. The office was aware of their relationship and it never failed to heighten her embarrassment when Arnav would page her to his office for yet another private "design" discussion meeting. He was so giving and so vulnerable in their intimate moments. But she knew she failed to reach his innermost secrets and she failed to heal whatever gnawed this flawed man. If only he gave her one chance. Perhaps, it was too late. Perhaps, he did not miss her with the same intensity as she missed him.She caught herself thinking of Arnav many times today. It could have been because it was his birthday and she had debated the day before whether to call him and wish him. She chose to make that decision later in the day when she had some time to herself.


After their last phone conversation had ended in a shouting match, they hadn't exchanged any text messages or called each other by way of an apology. She had resisted relenting as she had done in the past. She felt he was especially unreasonable and demanding this time. He had wanted her to come down for his birthday celebration, he was hitting 30 and his family had arranged a big birthday bash for him. Everyone in town was invited. Her family was too and in a remote way, Arnav had hoped for a reconciliation or reunion of sorts with her using his birthday as an excuse. She knew their lives had begun to seriously diverge and it was getting increasingly difficult to find a common ground for discussion. Their lives seem have beocme parallel tracks, moving in tandem, yet, somehow, never meeting each other. 


It was not their fault, she concluded, looking away from her workbook, it was a natural albeit bitter progression. She felt uneasy for some reason and she began to realize she did love Arnav and would continue to love him forever. She knew she was incapable of loving any other man the way she had loved him and it was just a sorry fact that Arnav thought of her selfish and an escapist. She sighed letting her worries rest on her involuntary frown.


The class was about to begin when she heard commotion outside the room. There were noises and muffled sounds of what appeared to be gun-shots. Her mind couldn't fathom what was going on, as more confusion, shouts and commotion followed, with students in her class room bolting from their seats, shrieking, screaming and scrambling towards the windows and the two exits to the corridor. She turned to look towards one of the doors when she felt a swish of air near her face and a jolt of excruciating pain on her chest. Confused, she felt the spot where the jolt had hit her. The area felt warm and wet. She looked down and saw a patch of blood expanding swiftly on the cotton fabric of her T-shirt, in all directions, with a bloody and hollow epicenter where the bullet had hit her. She did not feel any pain nor did she panic. She got up knowing that she had to get help to stop the blood but her legs wouldn't cooperate. She crumbled to the floor, her legs waning in strength to hold her youthful body. She knew she had to lie still, very still.


Holding on to a chair for support, she got down on her weak knees and laid herself on the floor, lying on the injured side. She lowered her dizzy head and cradled it in the pit formed by her bent elbow. The floor was cold but she could feel the warm trickle of her blood oozing to the floor and pooling under her. She knew she had to be still and keep calm. She began to slowly hum a song Arnav always sang to her, over the phone or strummed on his guitar as she gazed at him lovingly sitting in their favorite perch by the poolside. She saw him descend towards her to kiss her softly, as the bright rays of sun shone behind his head haloing and silhouetting him. She heard him call her softly, "Khushiii, Shhh, shhh, shhh, it will be alright, my love. I am here now." She reached out to caress his face. He held her hand close to his face and moved his lips to kiss her palm. She called his name in a whisper and wished him a happy birthday as he nodded and laid a kiss on her cheek. Then, she closed her eyes languidly for a long-awaited, much needed sleep while her face took on a beatific and satisfied aura. She knew she had to go now. She knew Arnav would understand.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arnav felt a familiar breeze of air hit his face. It happened each time he felt the presence of his love. He stopped in the middle of his presentation as he felt a crushing shot of pain in his heart. He clutched his chest hard and staggered over to the table for support. Steadying himself, he looked around the room to find his office team standing shocked and frozen, watching him stagger and lose his balance. His secretary jumped across the room to hold him steady and called out the office peon to place an urgent call to the doctor.


His chest was felt like a strong vice closing in on him and crushing his inner guts, most of all his heart. His lips went dry, suddenly drained of any life juices and he felt extreme thirst, like he had never felt before. He stumbled to the floor, cracking his temples as his head hit the side of the table with the fall. He heard a collective gasp in the room and more flutter of activities around him. He wanted to lie down.


He pulled his knees to his chest and curled in a fetal position, looking vulnerable and spent. His ears drummed fast, drowning all the noises around him. He felt the breeze that caressed his body, soothing him as he closed his eyes.


"Arnav Sir, Arnav Sir! Can you hear me?", a distant voice called out to him. But he was drifting away, he knew. As he turned his head to the voice, it morphed into the soothing lullaby of his beloved, his khushi.


"Arnav! Arnav, it me", the voice gently called out to him as it echoed and drifted from a distance, becoming clearer and closer and more insistent. "Open your eyes my love, its me!", the voice urged again. He peeled his lids open and what he saw made his longing worse. Her face hovered over his, silhouetted and shadowed by the halo of bright sunlight around her. She looked like an angel. Yes, she is my angel.


"Arnav, I've come for you, my love.", her ethereal voice echoed in his hears. He smiled, instantly feeling at peace and one with the love of his life. He strained to form the words to offer an apology for the years of cruelty, the years of resistance and the years of distance. He lifted his right arm to touch her soft face. The cool breeze was soothing and comforting. She cradled his head in her arms and gently rocked him with a lullaby. It was their love-song.


"Khushiii, you are here". His voice rasped over his pain. "Yes, my love, I am here for you", her voice light as a cloud floated over him.


"Somebody, please bring the gurnee, we need to wheel Arnav to the hospital" a panic stricken voice teared through the heavenly haze he felt in her arms. He felt many hands lifting him off the floor and placing him on the gurnee. She began retreating away from him with outstretched arms trying to wave him good bye. But he did not want to let her go, ever! "Don't leave yet, my love" he pleaded. "I have to go", she said it with sadness that tore through his heart giving him fresh bout of pain. "Take me with you", he pleaded. She smiled and reached out to him with her hands. He placed his hands in hers and felt himself rising from the gurnee to be with her.


Suddenly, there was no pain, he felt himself join her in a loving embrace as their hands clasped together and their bodies merged their matter to one, their souls as one, and their destinies as one. It was a perfect union.


A chart was filled by the attending doctor in Delhi
Name: Arnav Singh Raizada
Dead on Arrival.
Cause of death: Acute Cardiac Arrest
Time of Death: Tuesday January 30^th, 9:30 am
Next of kin notified

A similar chart was filled in Mumbai at the same time
Name: Khushi Kumari Gupta alias Khushi Kumari Raizada
Dead on Arrival
Cause of Death: Bullet wound to the heart
Time of Death: Tuesday January 30^th, 9:30 am
Next of kin notified